Leave It to Me: Chapter Eight: The Shelf

Things got a little calmer from there. I got a few snickers and so-called compliments for my socks, sure, but that wasn't really all that bad. I got a few snide comments about where was I when the robot attacked Nakamart, and those were a little worse, but still not all that bad. I'm a guy who loves adventure, not the world's babysitter. I got a few fangirls who wanted pictures, or hugs, and that was a bit more annoying. Still, they were doing it outta love and were easy enough to get rid of, especially after I got the idea to start coughing when they asked. And I mean, at least they meant well.

I went through the grocery aisles, starting with the dry stuff. I didn't know how long the lines were gonna be, and I'd had enough of a Murphy's Law day to realize that I should assume that everything that could go wrong would. I didn't want anything frozen or cold to melt in line or on the train ride home. I picked up all the good stuff that didn't fall under that umbrella first. I went all out. Tails could get pretty serious about what he was doing and forget to do grocery shopping, so I couldn't just assume he was only out of bread and milk. I went down the bread aisle and picked up a couple loaves of bread in different kinds, even some of that healthy whole wheat stuff to go with my white. I also grabbed hot dog buns… I mean, come on. This is me we're talking about.

On the soup aisle I grabbed a couple of cans of chicken soup. I was gonna get the ones with the alphabet letters on them to cheer Tails up, but they're like a buck more expensive. It's not that exciting, geez. I made up the difference buying the low sodium ones. While I was there, I also grabbed some of those vacuum packed meals with the mashed potatoes and some kinda meat. I had no idea how I was gonna look for freezer space for frozen dinners, but the vacuum things are something that isn't complicated to make and keep pretty much forever. If I got sick too, he'd need to be able to have something easy to make.

On the aisle with the peanut butter, I grabbed a can of crunchy and a can of smooth… Tails and I don't exactly have the same preferences. I also grabbed some nice fruit preserves because those are a little better for you than that goopy stuff we call jelly. Besides, looking at grape jelly kinda makes me think of the chemical plant. I tried to get blueberry 'cause I read somewhere that has lots of antioxidants or something. Or maybe it was that weird acai thing? I dunno.

I didn't go as crazy on the snack aisle. Saltine crackers were the big hit there. Not only are they good in soup, but they're great for an upset stomach, which I guess kids get with the flu sometimes. I've found they're pretty good for dealing with heartburn if I ate too many chili dogs, too. I also picked up some cookies because, well, comfort food. I grabbed some nuts because they're good for you… I wanted to get some chips, but I stopped myself. Those would pretty much be for me, and they don't really have any nutritional value.

I went down the aisle that had all the baking stuff to pick up a couple of boxes of gelatin. Maybe this is weird, but one thing I like to do with gelatin is make it normally, let it cool a little, and drink it warm. I got a few flavors, Tails' favorite and mine. You can't really go wrong with sick people and gelatin, anyway, and it's cheap.

Then I hit the breakfast aisle. You've gotta have cereal. Nice, easy to make, and halfway healthy. Sometimes. I should really stop shopping hungry.

The first thing I noticed when I got to the cereal aisle is that the colors looked different. It looked like they reorganized the whole thing since last time I had been there.

OK. No big deal.

So I started combing the aisles, looking up and down at the different kinds of cereal. I found my favorite easily and flopped the little orange box into the cart, chuckling a little as I did. I love doing that. Give it a little tap and it just falls in. It's more fun to do it to Eggman's robots, but I was tired and my legs were staring to ache. I could take a cereal box.

Then to find Tails'.

I reached the endcap without finding it, so I turned the cart around and swept back through, looking for the familiar white box. No luck.I did find those little toaster things, though. Tails loves those. I thought maybe if I had enough money, I'd get a little rainbow napkin to go with 'em. He'd get a kick outta that.

Then I realized I hadn't been looking at the shelves that I couldn't reach.

I looked up, scanning the aisle's topmost shelves, looking for his cereal. I found it way at the other end, on top.

I swore a little in my head and dashed over there, leaving my cart where it was.

Now, if I'd focused juuuuuuuust right in the past, I'd been able to jump high enough to get the top shelf, grab something, and not break anything. I found myself thinking that I was not having a good focus day, so I looked around to see if there was anyone who could help me. Nope.

I slid the cart over and tried to stand on that. Nope.

I gave a wimpy little human-style hop. All that accomplished was making my knees hurt.

So I really had no choice. I stood there, looking at the white box with all the rainbow coloring on it, halfway willing it to come down into my arms. I had a dream about a guy who could do that once. But I wasn't that guy, and the box never came.

So I crouched down, jumped up, and tried to reach it.

I came down hard, smacking my arm on the cart. I bit my lip.

Then I pushed the cart out of the way. It seemed so heavy, almost painful on my wrists. I had too much stuff in there.

Then I came back and looked at the cereal, taunting me.

I crouched down and jumped again. I missed, and landed hard on my knee, but at least I didn't hit anything else this time.

Third time's a charm.

I stepped just a bit closer, jumped up, and planted my fingers on a box of cereal, yanking them downward. I landed face up, and I felt the pointy corner of a box of cereal land on my face.

Phew. Got it.

Then one on my stomach, then another on my nose. Another one poked me in the eye, good thing I closed 'em. Then my chest. I lost count after that. I lay there until the roar stopped.

"Cleanup on Aisle 3," I heard over the intercom.

Crap.